90 Minutes of Heaven

Every couple of weeks I get a 90-minute massage. Because I’m a bodywork snob, all my sessions are done by the best practitioners in the area and we trade. It’s a fabulous system. My session yesterday was with Lynne. She and I have been trading for about 7 years.

In the short time I’ve been immersed in the blogosphere I’ve notice that my own observations of the world have been keener (has anyone else noticed this?), so after my session I began to list some random observations about my experience:

1. When I undress, I hide my underwear beneath my clothes. She can see my glutes and my belly, but not my skivvies. I do the same thing at the doctor’s office.

2. I like quiet during my massage. I'm normally a chatty-patty, but during massage, it’s my time to shut down all systems and decompress, especially my overactive mind. I’m always amazed when my massage clients prattle on and on during a session.

3. After 30 minutes of lying face-down, I get horribly congested. My face feels like it’s bursting with pressure. Thed I soud like this. But wed I get up its dot so bad.

4. I used to be scrupulous about shaving my legs before a session, but I’m way beyond that with Lynne. I don’t feel judged by her at all. However, when I see a new massage therapist, I still feel compelled to produce silky smooth legs (maybe she'll believe they're always like that).

5. I prefer unscented oil. Every massage therapist finds this weird since I'm the queen of aromatherapy in my little world. But honestly, I'm already substantially aromatic from working with essential oils everyday, and I don't want more in my massage.

6. I prefer no music. Again, this is probably due to an overload of listening to gentle newage-y sounds all day that when it’s my time I want silence.

7. I always have to pee real bad after a massage.

8. My favorite part is the scalp. Mmmmm I could have my scalp massaged all day. I even like to have my hair pulled a little.

9. One professional hazard I find is that even in my most hypnotic state, I am cognizant of what strokes and moves she is using and think "Oh, that's good...I'm going to use that".

10. I like an eye pillow over my eyes because that little bit of weight feels good and my eyes don’t flutter open.

11. I adore hot stones on my back. Unfortunately, Lynne doesn’t use them, but her massage is so outstanding that I don’t mind. My other trading therapist, Ruth, does.

12. I’m dopy, unfocused and ungrounded after a massage. My mental acuity goes out the window. I’m amazed when a client returns to work after a session. I’m lucky if I can use a fork.

13. When my session is over, I treat myself to ice cream on the way home. Strictly therapeutic ice cream, of course.